


Chances are I don't forgive you, but I'm trying

by Nanika67, Saphii



Series: The Arch Series [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Azrael is dumb, Everythings ok tho, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, More dumb winchester luck, running away surprisingly doesn't solve your problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanika67/pseuds/Nanika67, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saphii/pseuds/Saphii
Summary: Azrael decides to mope around instead of talking about her problems and gets called out on her bullshit. Also Amara.





	Chances are I don't forgive you, but I'm trying

**Author's Note:**

> nonny said the title was too long but im a rebellious child
> 
> Edit: Saphi you fucker

“Damn.” 

The ‘Game Over’ screen popped up on the video game as Azrael growled to herself, dropping her arms down on the bed next to her. Grumbling, the Archangel rolled over onto her side, struggling to control the guilt that overwhelmed her. 

The intrusive thoughts whispering to her, berating her at every turn. Over the past few months, her head was filled with whirlwinds of emotions and the acknowledgment of the events that occurred. She had finally come back to life after seeking out Sam Winchester, convincing him to collect the requirements to revive her physical form. 

What was supposed to be a quick and uninteresting process turned into complete and utter chaos. Sooner than she would've liked, Azrael was quickly discovered by her estranged family and that’s when everything went south. Fleeing to siblings who had gone into hiding long ago had only stirred further conflict and second thoughts, influencing her sister’s insanity. 

When Azrael tried to undo the damage she caused, her attempts only ended with even more fighting and the eventual loss of an eye. Nevertheless, despite the turmoil and grudges, Ariel was finally healed from her disease, and a family that was torn apart finally began to mend it’s broken bridges. 

Still, relationships with her family and the Winchesters were still strained regardless of all that they been through. Conversations were short lasting and tense, especially with Dean as he preferred to ignore the Archangel all together after they defeated Amara. Her siblings, excluding Jophiel and Gabriel, were not any better than the humans when it came to acting normal around the siblings they have been separated from for so long. 

Castiel didn't know how to approach her after their first encounter and the other Archangels were struggling to simply talk to her. They would open their mouth to make light conversation, yet were held back as if their voice was taken away. Azrael’s siblings would quietly dismiss the chance to speak and venture off, leaving a sharp pain in her chest everytime she watched them wander off..

This behavior continued for weeks, opportunities to talk about what happened lost in awkward, shifty glances. Eventually, there was an intervention in the form of a organized a family meeting to sit and sort out deep resentment and unspoken arguments. 

It had gone on for days, as many of the residents had been holding onto grudges lasting centuries. Numerous apologize were spoken, tears and hugs were exchanged and it had taken a while to learn to forgive, but don’t forget.

Fighting side by side, the group worked to come up with a plan to finally stop Amara in her quest to kill _literally everything and everyone_. It took various amounts of arguments and slammed doors before they all settled on a battle plan. 

They silently regarded each other as they prepared themselves for what was to face them when they finally stepped on the battlefield. The fight against Amara was difficult, however, they managed to prevail in way that could only be called ‘pure Winchester style’.

Sam and Dean lured Amara in, despite Azrael’s doubts that Amara would undoubtedly catch onto their plans. The Darkness had waltzed into the building like she had all the time in the world, a smug smile on her lips. The woman’s eyes widen once she caught sight of the Archangels surrounding her, ready to deal out a barrage of lethal attacks.

Blades unsheathed, the Archangels threw themselves into battle with a loud ring of their true voices. Amara let out of shout of shock at the attacks coming down on her one after another, her eyes burning in outrage. She carefully observed the attacking angels as they surrounded her, ready to unleash another barrage upon her at Michael’s command. 

Her eyes locked with familiar violet ones, she remembered the angel from before she was sealed away by the Mark. Azrael stood between Gabriel and Lucifer, her angel blade focused on the thing that was responsible for her grace being torn to shreds. 

Lunging, Amara violently threw the Archangel into a wall while shoving the others aside like rag dolls. Azrael frantically deflected attacks blindly as Amara easily immobilized the Archangel. A shiver ran down her spine as she was forced to look at Amara’s malicious grin.

“It’s been sometime,” Amara hissed, venom lacing her voice. “hasn’t it my dear archangel?”

Azrael trembled in fear at the smirk on Amara’s face that gave a clear promise of pain. As the Darkness was suddenly thrown back by the force of Lucifer and Michael, Azrael fell to the floor in shock, fear threatening to take over her mind. 

Shaking the terror that threatened to take control of her body, Azrael lunged for her blade and readied for Michael’s signal to attack. As Jophiel ducked from what would be a fatal blow after throwing his balde in Amara’s side, Ariel attacked from the other side as she spotted an opening.

As the two Archangels continued to land fatal blows on the Darkness, their siblings were quick to cover their defenses. After the constant barrage of attacks on all sides, Amara eventually fell to her knees in front of Chuck, Archangels flanking her sides. 

Chuck took one look at her, and with a touch, the cosmic entities vanished from the clearing. Chuck had taken Amara to a place where they could just talk without interruptions. Their conversations spread from past events that could’ve gone better up to the past few years. 

After years of talking, they came to the conclusion that things weren’t the brightest and while somethings just aren’t fixable, others are, and together they would make the best of what they had. With that, the fighting was over and done with, a hope for a peaceful new start motivated the angels to rebuild Heaven.

With their powers combined, Chuck and Amara assisted in the restoration of Heaven. Angels lost to the apocalypse or anything to the present day were rebuilt, while some others were destined to remain asleep in the Empty. They all agreed it was better that way to avoid more trouble with some that would still be against humans.

After the anger of Amara blew over and the revival of the Host, a celebration was more than well deserved. Although happiness didn’t stop the bunker residents from keeping to themselves and continue to awkwardly avoid others. While Ariel, Michael, and Raphael were usually in heaven, their siblings preferred to stay in the bunker with the company of the Winchesters. 

No one is perfect, regardless of being human or supernatural. Eventually, everyone began to warm up to each other and become more of a family. Everyone was happy, as they were all finally beginning to get along after years of less than healthy relationships. 

Azrael, on the other hand, couldn’t explain the troubled stirring inside of her, she only knew that Amara was the cause. The Archangel was moving on from past hatred towards her brethren and apologized for how she treated Sam. However, Azrael would be lying if she said that she has forgiven Amara for what she did to her grace.

The Archangel was resentful that after years of suffering, the _monster_ who caused her pain was off the hook with a few words and a hug from God. Azrael’s lips frown in distaste as she regarding the fact that forgiveness was earned and Amara did try to fix her wrongs.

The Darkness had fashioned a blade for Billie so the reaper could continue her work. She even brought back Bobby Singer and Mary Winchester to the Winchesters as an apology for her evil doings. 

The Archangel berated herself for being selfish, she should be happy that her father didn’t have to kill his own sister in the end. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t acknowledge the knock at the door. 

“Hey, can I come in?” Sam called softly, already letting himself into her room with quiet steps. “How are you doing? I didn’t see you with the others so I figured you would be here.” 

“I’m fine, just enjoying some alone time like a modern human on this earthly planet would do. What about you? Amara hardly went easy on us in the fight.” The Archangel shrugged but her eyes didn’t meet Sam’s.

“I’m fine compared to what happened to the others, Az.” Sam lowered himself down on the bed next to her. “So...”

“So?” Azrael raised an eyebrow as she observed how close he was.

“So how are you feeling,” Sam spoke up, interrupting the confused look on the Archangel’s face. “You’re a liar if you are fine after fighting your abuser. I know first hand that seeing them being buddy-buddy suddenly and forgiven for all they did is infuriating.”

Azrael opened her mouth to speak and then closed it with a snap. The Archangel looked at her hands as if the answer would walk into her grasp as Sam waited patiently. With a shaky sigh, Azrael curled in on herself before letting the truth flow from her tongue.

“I hate it so much, looking at her receiving no retribution for all she has done. I want to be the reason she suffers, I want her to feel everything she put me through! I want the pain to be hers so she knows _exactly_ what she put me through.” Azrael hissed, scowling at nothing in particular. 

“Azrael-” Sam reached out to soothe her with a pained look on his face.

“No!” Azrael startled Sam when her arm flung out to smack his hand away from her. “Don't you see? There's something wrong with me! Everyone forgave her so easily, yet here I am holding a grudge over her head. I need to leave.” 

Azrael suddenly looked up towards the ceiling with an exclamation It was as if all the answers to their problems had come to her, granting her some sort of clarity. She began to shuffle around the room, pulling out drawers and taking a bag out of the closet.

“Azrael, what are you even talking about?” Sam raised his voice, effectively gaining the Archangel’s attention. “Will you calm down and think about what you’re saying? You are talking about leaving your Father and siblings again!”

“So?! I’ll be returning the favor! I never saw you reasoning with Father when he left you to deal with the apocalypse of my brothers.” She snarked, spite lacing her voice that had Sam grimacing at her comment.

“You don't mean that-” The hunter spoke lowly as he watched the archangel pause midway between haphazardly shoving clothes into her bag.

“What you do you know,” Her true voice cracked as she turned around with fury in her eyes. “You are nothing compared to me. You have no idea what I have endured during the time your planet was being created. Do not speak to me like you have any clue what I am going through.”

“Oh excuse me, in case I have forgotten, who exactly was it who drank demon blood and started the apocalypse? Were you, oh poor unfortunate archangel, stripped of your free will and consent, living in the cage with a psychotic archangel torturing you at all hours. I don’t think you did, so don’t ‘nothing compared to my pain’ me.”

“And I haven’t?” She snarled in response, eyes flashing, “I did _nothing_ to deserve what I got back then. I was the perfect daughter to a Father who didn't even care-”

Cutting herself off, she looked away in what one would only call shame and refused to meet the hunters eyes again. Her words reminded her that Sam didn’t have the sweetest childhood either, both were raised by fathers that could care less about their children.

“Sam, I-” Azrael’s anger diminished in front of the furious hunter. A flash of regret crossed over the Archangel’s face as she stared at the bag in her hands.

Stepping towards the remorseful Archangel, Sam narrowed his eyes and grabbed the bag from her hands, tossing it to the ground, “I thought you moved past that, Azrael. You and Chuck talked about your issues, you both agreed to try to be better.” 

“Clearly I haven't,” She snapped, anger coming back to her in harsh waves, then quickly diminishing when she saw Sam’s own anger return. Quickly opening her mouth to stutter out some excuse, Sam beat her to it.

“No, You listen here you complete asshat of an archangel.”

Before Azrael could get another word out, the hunter had wrapped his arms around her and drew her into his chest. Flinching when he felt her freeze in his arms, Sam relaxed when she practically melted into his embrace.

“Talk to us, Azrael. You can’t just assume we can all read minds and will know what you want from us. None of us know what happened with you when you fell, or what happened with Amara. We don't know what to say or what not to say, what triggers you or sets you off. You need to communicate to us or issues will never be solved.”

Azrael didn’t say anything, simply pressing her self closer as tears began to well up in her eyes. The archangel knew the idea of running away was beyond hopelessly stupid, but it gave her comfort to rely on a plan she always had. The hunter had knocked sense into her though, she no longer could run away from issues she didn’t want to confront.

“I...I will try from now on.” Her voice was barely audible as it was muffled by the human's shirt. Sam heard her anyway and let a smile grow on his lips as he hugged lightly.

“That’s all I- we ask, Azrael. Now let’s clean all this up and go join the others. ”

Azrael nodded and picked the discarded bag off the floor, and began to put the clothing back where she had ripped them from. Sam made the bed neat again as the archangel placed the bag back into her closet. 

After the room was set back in order, the hunter grinned and opened the door, gesturing for Azrael to follow him back to where the others had set up a makeshift theatre in order for a movie binge.

“Hey, Sam?” Azrael spoke up quietly as she grabbed a hold of his sleeve, eyes locked on the floor. 

“Yeah?” The hunter turned back to look at her, a reassuring look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” The Archangel blurted, guilt-ridden with all she had done to the hunter. Not waiting for an answer, she continued, “I broke my promise to you, the one I made when we first met. I lied to you, and I never should’ve done the things I did to you, or anyone else for that matter. I said I would give you a choice, yet I made it for you.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you.” Sam gave a slight smile as he held the door open for the archangel. “Now let’s go before Gabriel eats all the popcorn.”

Azrael nodded her head and smiled as she followed to where the others waited She had years of resentment and guilt, but with her family there to love and give her a second chance, the Archangel was sure that she could make up for her wrongs. And maybe- just maybe, she could work things out with Amara one day


End file.
